{"id":20541,"date":"2022-03-04T14:41:33","date_gmt":"2022-03-04T19:41:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=20541"},"modified":"2022-03-04T14:41:33","modified_gmt":"2022-03-04T19:41:33","slug":"downtown-businesses-to-be-converted-to-parking-lots-to-address-parking-woes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2022\/03\/04\/downtown-businesses-to-be-converted-to-parking-lots-to-address-parking-woes\/","title":{"rendered":"Downtown businesses to be converted to parking lots to address parking woes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Swan City News – Satire<\/p>\n

The perceived parking shortage in downtown Lakeland may soon be a thing of the past.\u00a0 But will the solution be too bitter a pill to swallow for patrons of the thriving heart of our city?\u00a0 From the center of Munn Park, Lakeland Downtown Development Authority Director Brandt Willer tearfully passed out voting ballots that will decide which 30 businesses will be demolished and converted to surface parking lots.\u00a0 \u201cIt pains me to do this, but it has become clear that Lakelanders will not be satisfied until they can be guaranteed a parking space no more than 15 feet from their destination.\u201d\"\"<\/p>\n

A young woman reviewing the ballot gave Brandt an earful as she yelled, \u201cThey better not even think about tearing down my Hookah Palace!\u201d.\u00a0 An elderly gentleman was later seen giving Willer an uncomfortably long hug as he expressed his excitement over \u201cthe tide finally turning against the rampant and unchecked growth in Lakeland that is\u00a0RUINING EVERYTHING<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

Disruptions to parking availability during construction will be offset by The City renting back their own subsidized parking spaces from Catapult, Summit, and Heritage Plaza.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Swan City News – Satire The perceived parking shortage in downtown Lakeland may soon be a thing of the past.\u00a0 But will the solution be too bitter a… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20542,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"wpai_generated_summary":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":71799,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[9],"tags":[2455],"class_list":["post-20541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","tag-downtown-businesses-to-be-converted-to-parking-lots"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20541"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20541\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}