{"id":21708,"date":"2022-04-13T14:52:10","date_gmt":"2022-04-13T18:52:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=21708"},"modified":"2022-04-13T14:52:13","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T18:52:13","slug":"pigeon-poops-on-biden-after-mistaking-him-for-an-old-statue%ef%bf%bc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2022\/04\/13\/pigeon-poops-on-biden-after-mistaking-him-for-an-old-statue%ef%bf%bc\/","title":{"rendered":"Pigeon Poops On Biden After Mistaking Him For An Old Statue\ufffc"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A local pigeon made a terrible mistake by pooping on the President of the United States today, after mistaking him for an old statue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"580\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1110px) 100vw, 1110px\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/article-10901-1.jpg?resize=1024%2C580&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-21709\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/article-10901-1.jpg?resize=1024%2C580&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/article-10901-1.jpg?resize=300%2C170&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/article-10901-1.jpg?resize=768%2C435&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/article-10901-1.jpg?w=1392&amp;ssl=1 1392w\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, I meant no disrespect,&#8221; said Mr. Flappy, the pigeon responsible for the error. &#8220;I was just in the air doing my pigeon thing when I saw this old, rickety, ancient-looking statue just standing there, with a blank, statue-like expression on his face. It looked like a perfect target!&#8221;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Several witnesses in the crowd reportedly stifled laughter as the pigeon flew overhead and dropped a massive load of&nbsp;nasty white bird droppings on the President&#8217;s shoulder.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Biden didn&#8217;t notice the bird poop until a few minutes later when he looked over to the teleprompter to receive his next line and noticed the white substance on his suit jacket. &#8220;Ooohhh! Chocolate chocolate chip ice cream! My favorite!&#8221; he said excitedly before Dr. Jill Biden rushed him off the stage.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At the time of publishing, the Biden Administration conducted a retaliatory drone strike on Mr. Flappy&#8217;s nest.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A local pigeon made a terrible mistake by pooping on the President of the United States today, after mistaking him for an old statue. &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, I meant no disrespect,&#8221;&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21709,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"wpai_generated_summary":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":71799,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[2621],"tags":[2706],"class_list":["post-21708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-pigeon-poops-on-biden-after-mistaking-him-for-an-old-statue"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21708","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21708"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21708\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21709"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21708"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21708"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}