{"id":21842,"date":"2022-04-22T18:56:27","date_gmt":"2022-04-22T22:56:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=21842"},"modified":"2022-04-22T19:03:19","modified_gmt":"2022-04-22T23:03:19","slug":"10-changes-desantis-has-ordered-for-disney-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2022\/04\/22\/10-changes-desantis-has-ordered-for-disney-world\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Changes DeSantis Has Ordered For Disney World"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Satire <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Florida legislature has revoked Disney’s self-governing status which means that some bold new changes are on the way. Disneyland in California will remain a popular site for human trafficking but the Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL is going to experience a dramatic overhaul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a look at these exciting changes on the way:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) The Hall of Presidents will just have 46 animatronic Donald Trumps:<\/strong> They are the greatest robots, maybe ever. Everyone says so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) Chip and Dale will now reside in separate trees:<\/strong> We can’t let our children be corrupted by cartoon characters having too close of a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) Avatar land will be turned into an IP someone actually cares about like Krull:<\/strong> Wield a sentient weapon and save the world!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) Only the original Star Wars trilogy may be spoken of:<\/strong> The prequel trilogy is too perfect to corrupt with human speech.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5) The only country featured in Epcot will be AMERICA:<\/strong> America is like a highlight reel of all the best countries anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6) All Disney princesses to be replaced with Melania Trump:<\/strong> Finally, real diversity!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7) Weird Disney adults who come without kids will be banned:<\/strong> Yessss!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8) Human trafficking is strongly discouraged:<\/strong> And no more kids on leashes, you weirdos!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9) It’s A Small World attraction to be dismantled by tactical nuke:<\/strong> The area will be sealed off for thirty years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10) Johnny Depp’s character will no longer wear eye shadow on the Pirates ride:<\/strong> Will also incorporate ex-wife Amber Heard in a redesigned auction scene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Satire Florida legislature has revoked Disney’s self-governing status which means that some bold new changes are on the way. Disneyland in California will remain a popular site for human trafficking… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21843,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"wpai_generated_summary":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":71799,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[2621],"tags":[2731],"class_list":["post-21842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-10-changes-desantis-has-ordered-for-disney-world"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21842","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21842"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21842\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21843"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21842"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21842"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}