{"id":22079,"date":"2022-05-02T03:29:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-02T07:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=22079"},"modified":"2022-05-01T15:45:11","modified_gmt":"2022-05-01T19:45:11","slug":"swan-dive-disney-is-opening-a-new-theme-park%ef%bf%bc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2022\/05\/02\/swan-dive-disney-is-opening-a-new-theme-park%ef%bf%bc\/","title":{"rendered":"SWAN DIVE-Disney is opening a NEW theme park!\ufffc"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SATIRE<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Welcome to DISNEY ISLAND located at Little St. James in the Bahamas!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Disney Cruise lines will now have a 3-day excursion at Disney’s New Park, DISNEY ISLAND which was purchased for $13.6 billion dollars thanks to the Biden Administration.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

DISNEY ISLAND will have “THE TEMPLE” instead of the castle. Ellen has sponsored the attraction since she is a super fan of “THE TEMPLE” and everyone loves Ellen! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

“THE TEMPLE” will house a boutique where you can come and dress like any Disney Character.  It will be called “GROOMERS”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

An attraction that will be a huge hit will be the “FLIGHT SIMULATOR”. This is sponsored by Microsoft & Bill Gates. You will board the “LOLITA EXPRESS” and get the AI experience of flying with celebrities! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

For lunch, you will board a fisherman’s boat and have pizza sponsored by COMET PIZZA.  Hillary Clinton is a fan of Disney & pizza. You too can sit in a booth next to MadameTussauds wax figure of Hillary and dine together.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sponsored by “THE TERRAMAR PROJECT”, you will walk down a cavern to the submarine which takes you to a private canal where you then get transferred to a private Pirate Ship.  You will enjoy “PEDOS OF THE CARIBBEAN” where the former 1st family guides you through choppy waters and unspoken adventures. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

For the holiday season, you can sit on former President Barack Obama and tell him your wishes! Santa is too busy to stay at Disney Island since he will be working hard at the North Pole. Santa has never been to DISNEY ISLAND.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Come to DISNEY ISLAND and have a WICKED time! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SATIRE Welcome to DISNEY ISLAND located at Little St. James in the Bahamas!\u00a0 Disney Cruise lines will now have a 3-day excursion at Disney’s New Park, DISNEY ISLAND which was… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22025,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"wpai_generated_summary":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":71799,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[2621],"tags":[2774],"class_list":["post-22079","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-disney-is-opening-a-new-theme-park"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22079","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22079"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22079\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}