{"id":22551,"date":"2022-05-16T17:47:34","date_gmt":"2022-05-16T21:47:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=22551"},"modified":"2022-05-16T17:47:42","modified_gmt":"2022-05-16T21:47:42","slug":"babylon-bee-gov-ron-desantis-just-signed-these-12-based-eos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2022\/05\/16\/babylon-bee-gov-ron-desantis-just-signed-these-12-based-eos\/","title":{"rendered":"Babylon Bee – Gov Ron DeSantis just signed these 12 BASED EO’s"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Satire <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look out, Florida! Gov Ron DeSantis just signed some super-based executive orders to own the libs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Awwwww yeeeaaaaaah!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some of the most notable:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) Disney must build two more Space Mountains so there’s never a line: I mean, come on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) Olive Garden must give out three times as many of those little chocolate mints at the end of the meal: This is just good business sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) All airline pilots in Florida must high-five before their flight and say “I have the need\u2014the need for speed”: Should improve safety in the danger zone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) Blippi to be shot on sight: No quarter for enemies of the state!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5) Cardio: Banned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6) TikTok: Banned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7) Leggings as pants: Double banned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8) Lord of the Rings added to high school English curriculum: A Tom Bombadil after-school program will be set up for at-risk youths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9) All tea must be sweet: Unsweetened tea to be dumped in the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10) Games of “Hide ‘N Seek” must be counted using 100 MISSISSIPPI’s: Florida shall be a state of law and order!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11) Theatrical releases to feature special Florida cut: Basically the same as the Chinese cut but in a language normal people speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12) The Babylon Bee gains self-governing status: Dope!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/babylonbee.com\/news\/desantis-just-signed-these-12-based-executive-orders<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Satire Look out, Florida! Gov Ron DeSantis just signed some super-based executive orders to own the libs! Awwwww yeeeaaaaaah! Here are some of the most notable: 1) Disney must build… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22552,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"0","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"wpai_generated_summary":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":71799,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[2621],"tags":[2865],"class_list":["post-22551","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-babylon-bee-gov-ron-desantis-just-signed-these-12-based-eos"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22551","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22551"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22551\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22552"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22551"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22551"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22551"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}