{"id":23218,"date":"2022-06-15T15:24:27","date_gmt":"2022-06-15T19:24:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=23218"},"modified":"2022-06-15T15:24:31","modified_gmt":"2022-06-15T19:24:31","slug":"death-toll-from-jan-6-skyrockets-as-hearing-viewers-die-of-boredom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2022\/06\/15\/death-toll-from-jan-6-skyrockets-as-hearing-viewers-die-of-boredom\/","title":{"rendered":"Death Toll From Jan. 6 Skyrockets As Hearing Viewers Die Of Boredom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Satire<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Written by The Babylon Bee<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The deadly January 6th riots have claimed even more innocent victims, as everyone watching the hearings is dying of boredom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"580\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" src=\"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/article-11517-1-1024x580.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-23219\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/article-11517-1-1024x580.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/article-11517-1-300x170.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/article-11517-1-768x435.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/article-11517-1.jpg 1392w\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;Once again we are seeing the tragic human cost of the evil MAGA insurrection on January 6th,&#8221; said Adam Schiff as several attendees fell out of their chairs and passed away, unable to watch one more second of the tiresome hearings. &#8220;Trump must be held responsible for these untimely&nbsp;deaths.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;OH, THE HUMANITY!&#8221;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Reports indicate that while the death count skyrockets, the injuries associated with January 6th are also rising\u2014with various attendees and viewers at home&nbsp;gouging out their eyes, jumping out of windows, and leaping in front of buses.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Authorities expect the death toll to rise even higher after the House committee members commit&nbsp;seppuku for failing to stop Trump from running in 2024.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Satire Written by The Babylon Bee The deadly January 6th riots have claimed even more innocent victims, as everyone watching the hearings is dying of boredom. &#8220;Once again we are&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23219,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"wpai_generated_summary":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":71799,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[2621],"tags":[3000],"class_list":["post-23218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-death-toll-from-jan-6-skyrockets-as-hearing-viewers-die-of-boredom"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23218"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23218\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}