{"id":25202,"date":"2022-09-19T19:10:12","date_gmt":"2022-09-19T23:10:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=25202"},"modified":"2022-09-19T19:10:17","modified_gmt":"2022-09-19T23:10:17","slug":"newly-crowned-king-charles-iii-demands-return-of-lakelands-iconic-swans-to-england","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2022\/09\/19\/newly-crowned-king-charles-iii-demands-return-of-lakelands-iconic-swans-to-england\/","title":{"rendered":"Newly Crowned\u00a0King Charles III Demands Return of Lakeland\u2019s Iconic Swans to England"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Satire by Swan City News<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"700\" height=\"525\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" src=\"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/631a322cc3104e001250248f.webp\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-25203\"\/><figcaption>King Charles III<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In a startling turn of events, one of King Charles III\u2019s first acts as the reigning King was one of defiance as he demanded that the City of Lakeland \u201creturn to England all descendants of the Monarchy\u2019s Royal Flock of swans loaned to the City in 1957.\u201d\u00a0 The King\u2019s decree further states that he is \u201csimply requesting the descendants so that his subjects may also enjoy them in all of the muted majesties of their homeland\u201d in the wake of the end of the Queen\u2019s 70-year reign.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When reached for comment, Lakeland Swan Czar Anderson Whitlock indicated that \u201cLakeland and its residents will deeply miss our royal feathered friends.\u201d&nbsp; In order to comply with the decree, the Parks and Recreation department will first have to determine which swans are of royal lineage by conducting costly avian paternity tests.&nbsp; Once that is established, they will promptly be transported back to their native land.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" src=\"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/desantis-123-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-20522\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/desantis-123-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/desantis-123-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/desantis-123-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/desantis-123.jpg 1200w\" \/><figcaption>Governor Ron DeSantis<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Upon learning of the King\u2019s demand, Governor Ron DeSantis\u2019 office issued a press release offering to help defray the financial impact on the City\u2019s taxpayers by providing funds from the $12 million in the state budget allocated to relocate migrants from the state.\u00a0 \u201cThese freeloading interloping fowl have been living off the taxpayers\u2019 dime for over 60 years and it is time for them to go.\u00a0 We will gladly charter planes and unceremoniously drop them off at the front steps of Buckingham Palace.\u201d\u00a0 The City Commission has since declined the Governor\u2019s offer based on a windfall to city coffers thanks to the recent fuel charge increases at Lakeland Electric.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Satire by Swan City News In a startling turn of events, one of King Charles III\u2019s first acts as the reigning King was one of defiance as he demanded that&hellip; 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