{"id":29661,"date":"2023-02-02T11:44:14","date_gmt":"2023-02-02T16:44:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/?p=29661"},"modified":"2023-02-02T11:44:20","modified_gmt":"2023-02-02T16:44:20","slug":"biden-shows-off-new-electric-car-that-can-hold-over-17-boxes-of-classified-documents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/2023\/02\/02\/biden-shows-off-new-electric-car-that-can-hold-over-17-boxes-of-classified-documents\/","title":{"rendered":"Biden Shows Off New Electric Car That Can Hold Over 17 Boxes of Classified Documents"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Written BY BabylonBee&nbsp;&nbsp; SATIRE<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"580\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" src=\"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/63da86d1bfde163da86d1bfde2-1024x580.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-29662\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/63da86d1bfde163da86d1bfde2-1024x580.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/63da86d1bfde163da86d1bfde2-300x170.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/63da86d1bfde163da86d1bfde2-768x435.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/63da86d1bfde163da86d1bfde2.jpg 1392w\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">President Biden took to the streets of D.C. today to promote a brand new electric car, capable of holding at least seventeen boxes of highly-classified documents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;I can get all of these top-secret files to my beach house on a single charge! Not a joke!&#8221; said Biden, cruising up Pennsylvania Avenue. &#8220;Wait, weren&#8217;t there eighteen boxes? Eh, who cares. Who wants ice cream??&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">President Biden drove the car as part of his climate initiative, hoping to encourage everyday Americans to purchase $100,000 electric vehicles. &#8220;While no one can afford the electric car President Biden was driving, which happens to be awful for the environment, he really wanted room for all the boxes,&#8221; said Chief of Staff Ronald Klain. &#8220;We also were hoping to highlight that Americans can get a $7,500 tax credit for buying an electric car. However, we must clarify that the car Biden was driving isn&#8217;t even eligible for the tax credit, and was selected exclusively for the number of file boxes it could lug around.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">President Biden reportedly will take the car to Delaware this weekend to monitor while the FBI collects classified documents strewn about his beach home. &#8220;We did have to make a couple of special adjustments to the car before we hit the road,&#8221; said Secret Service Agent Tom Rogers. &#8220;There&#8217;s a steering wheel in the passenger seat for the agent who does the actual driving, but we did install a toy steering wheel in the driver&#8217;s seat so Biden can pretend. We also had to remove all the USB ports, he&#8217;s got this awful habit of trying to lick them. Don&#8217;t ask me.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At publishing time, Secret Service had been forced to remove several classified documents from Biden&#8217;s possession as he was attempting to feed them to the car as fuel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written BY BabylonBee&nbsp;&nbsp; SATIRE President Biden took to the streets of D.C. today to promote a brand new electric car, capable of holding at least seventeen boxes of highly-classified documents.&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29662,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"wpai_generated_summary":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":71799,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[2621],"tags":[4431],"class_list":["post-29661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satire","tag-biden-shows-off-new-electric-car-that-can-hold-over-17-boxes-of-classified-documents"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29661"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29661\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29662"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lakelandgazette.info\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}