Written by Swan City News
Satire
The Florida Department of Transportation fired a shot across the bow Monday evening at the public meeting for the much-maligned South Florida Road Diet Project. The intention behind the “FDOT Welcome” sign at the entrance of Sikes Hall at The Lakeland Center* was not lost on the engaged citizens in attendance.
An exasperated Jonas Carrington confronted a group of FDOT representatives. “How about welcoming the citizens that were willing to spend the extra 97 seconds on Florida Avenue and brave the rush hour traffic to be here?” Others were highly suspicious of the unexpected road closures of major thoroughfares to the venue that caused many community activists to arrive after the conclusion of the event.
Regarding the controversial sign, FDOT representative Vitalia Hootersburg explained to our Swan City News correspondent: “There was an unfortunate mixup with our signs. This sign was supposed to be outside the Hollingsworth Room for the annual FDOT conference evaluating the most efficient ways to be inefficient.”
Meanwhile, FDOT executives were completely perplexed by the sign they encountered outside the Hollingsworth Room: “FDOT: A Bastion of Visionary Planning, Economic Growth, and Community Building.”
*Editorial Note: Swan City News will always and forever refer to it as “The Lakeland Center”.