WOMAN CITED FOR SELLING “GLUTEN-FREE TAP WATER” AT A FARMERS MARKET FOR $9 A BOTTLE

Ashley Renfro, 25, was cited Saturday after setting up a farmers market booth selling plain tap…

Officer Rescues Dying Kitten Who Becomes Sheriff’s Comfort Cat

Satire It was a freezing night, pouring rain, when a tiny orange and white kitten was…

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Disclaimer: The newspaper does not necessarily agree with the opinions, ideas, beliefs, or viewpoints expressed in the…

Area Dad Suffers Massive Nothing To Worry About

In a no big deal that barely even took place, area factory worker and father of…

Page County Sheriff’s Office Takes “Punxsutawney Phil” into Custody Following Treacherous Weather Prediction

Following this morning’s Groundhog Day festivities at Gobbler’s Knob, the Page County Sheriff’s Office has announced…

Corrupting Our Kids: Popular Disney Mascots Roaming Park without Any Pants

Beloved Disney characters Donald and Daisy Duck were spotted in public without any pants and, according…

BREAKING NEWS: The REAL reason Commissioner Bill Braswell opposes outdoor cats sterilization aka TNVR revealed!

PLOT TWIST OF THE FARMING CENTURY!  Commissioner Bill Braswell (a blueberry farmer) doesn’t oppose TNVR because…

Taylor Swift Engagement Overturned As Referee Determines Travis Kelce’s Knee Didn’t Touch The Ground

Satire by BabylonBee.com Taylor Swift’s love story came to an abrupt end after a referee jumped…

Satire – Julie Townsend, LDDA Executive Director

Governor’s Statement

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10 People We’d Like To Launch Into Space

SATIRE Following the success of the Blue Origin space mission that sent Katy Perry into space,…

13 More People Biden Is Considering Pardoning

SATIRE By BabylonBee.com President Joe Biden has been under fire this week for pardoning his son,…

Elmo Dies in Flood

Satire Lakeland received over 11 inches of rain from Hurricane Milton. During a flood, Elmo got…

Shaq kicks Tim Walz out of restaurant: ‘You’re a disappointment, don’t come back here!’

Satire In what can only be described as a cross between a reality TV show and…

Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview

By BabylonBee SATIRE Americans across the country breathed a sigh of relief this morning following breaking…

Tim Walz Spends Entire CNN Interview Making Balloon Animals To Distract Attention From Kamala Harris

By BabylonBee SATIRE All three and a half minutes of leaked footage from CNN’s pre-recorded interview…

Calvary Chapel Pastor Shocked To Learn There Are Books in the Bible Other Than Revelation

By BabylonBee   SATIRE The pastor of a local Calvary Chapel reportedly took a leave of absence…

SWAN DIVE – Lakeland Company provides better service than Biden’s Secret Service

Satire A local company has billboards across the county raising awareness on roof inspections.  The marketing…

SWAN DIVE – Lakeland embraces ‘ALL THINGS WALZ’

Satire VP Pick, Governor Tim Walz has the right mindset.   “Don’t ever shy away from your…

SWAN DIVE – SILVER ALERT ISSUED FOR JOE BIDEN

Satire President Trump’s campaign manager is asking:  “What happened to Joe Biden? Where is he?” Maybe…

Political Analysts Predict Winner of the Presidential Race Will Probably Be the One Who Survives Till November

SATIRE by BabylonBee Following controversy over President Joe Biden’s health and the attempted assassination of former…

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Megachurch Conducts Successful Nuclear Missile Test

By the Onion – Satire In what the evangelical congregation hailed as a significant step forward…

Swan Dive- WEAR YOUR MASK!

SATIRE It’s COVID SEASON & ELECTION SEASON, but it’s not connected in any way, shape or form.…

Swan Dive – The late Beau Biden and Elder Abuse

Satire Thirteen years ago, Beau Biden was the Attorney General for the State of Delaware.  He…

SWAN DIVE – Urgent Message from Hunter Biden: ‘Pray for Ukraine’

By SWAN DIVE – Satire Hunter Biden has sent out a message to all of the…

SWAN DIVE – Flag Day with President Biden 2024

By Swan Dive – Satire “Flag Day celebrates the history of the U.S. flag annually on…

SWAN DIVE – Polk County School Board will take the “CHOKE” challenge

By Swan Dive – Satire The approved book list from the Polk County School Board and…

SWAN DIVE – Rose Dynasty Foundation WELCOMES THE MUTZ FAMILY

SATIRE written by Swan Drive Mayor and Mrs. Mutz are proud to announce that their family…

SWAN DIVE – Lakeland Changes Munn Park Name June 15th

Written by Swan Dive Satire Former President Barack stated, “Change will not come if we wait…

Trump Forced To Wear Hannibal Lecter Muzzle For Gag Order Violations

By BabylonBee Satire Donald Trump was held in contempt of court Monday during his hush money…

Family Of Tumbleweeds Excitedly Makes Trip To Biden Rally

By BabylonBee SATIRE After the Biden campaign announced their latest rally in the increasingly purple swing…

White House Calls In Elmo To Help Explain Latest Global Conflict To President

By: BabylonBee Satire In an effort to educate President Biden on the details of the latest…

Walt Disney World Will Begin Charging Park Guests $2 to Use Trash Cans?

Satire “To enforce this, Disney has installed MagicBand readers on all of their garbage cans,” the…

Florida’s DeSantis and Ladapo – A Measles Outbreak with Parental Rights vs. Public Health

In a satirical twist, Florida declares victory over measles by valuing parental choice over public health…

Doritos Announces New Spokesperson Jared From Subway

By BabylonBee Satire In a show of solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community, Doritos has taken bold…

Plastic Flamingos Take Flight in Florida’s Bold Move to Redefine State Bird

Satire In a move that has both baffled and amused ornithologists and residents alike, the Florida…

Florida Announces Ambitious Plan to Build Giant Dome to Combat Humidity

Satire In an unprecedented move, Florida’s state government has announced a groundbreaking plan to encase the…

Florida Governor Announces Ambitious Plan to Replace State Capitol with a Giant Orange

Satire In a bold and unprecedented move, Florida’s Governor has announced plans to completely revamp the…

Satire – Florida Governor Declares Alligators as State’s Official Uber Drivers

In a bold move that has left the rest of the nation scratching their heads, Florida’s…

Man Ruled Too Senile To Stand Trial Still Fine To Run Country

By BabylonBee SATIRE Special Counsel Robert Hur will not recommend charges for Biden’s mishandling of classified…