Luxury Hotel Maid Folds Mattress Into Swan

Satire

Elmo Dies Of Myocarditis After Receiving COVID Vaccine

Satire Written by The Babylon Bee Reports have confirmed that beloved Sesame Street resident Elmo died…

Bert And Ernie Both Contract Monkeypox

Satire Written by: The Babylon Bee The CDC has issued a lockdown advisory to the residents…

SWAN DIVE – Mutz makes a proclamation on behalf of the GAY SWANS

Satire Since Mayor Mutz’s proclamation for the LGBTQ people, the swans were outraged since they were…

Death Toll From Jan. 6 Skyrockets As Hearing Viewers Die Of Boredom

Satire Written by The Babylon Bee The deadly January 6th riots have claimed even more innocent…

A City Commissioner Rejects New Apartment Complex Due to Lack of Kickbacks

Satire In a surprise admission that has called long-held assumptions about local government corruption into question,…

SWAN DIVE – January through December is HETEROSEXUAL MONTH!

Satire There IS no day for straight people! It’s unfair!’ January through December will now be…

SWAN DIVE – Lakeland USPS being SOLD to Bill Gates & Amazon

Satire With the times changing and the advancements of computers, emails and drones, the Lakeland USPS…

Babylon Bee: Think You Have Monkeypox? Watch For These Ten Strange Symptoms

Satire Monkeypox is here! EVERYONE PANIC! You thought COVID wasn’t a big deal? Well, get ready to…

SWAN DIVE presents: AWAKEN WITH JP

Satire Why you should NOT move to Florida!  Click on the link below and watch AWAKEN…

SWAN DIVE – MONKEYPOX & SWANPOX in LAKELAND?!

Satire Attention Lakelanders!  Belgium is now the first country to introduce a MONKEYPOX QUARANTINE — mandatory…

SWAN DIVE – “The Return of the MAGA KING” is coming to theaters!

Satire President Donald J.Trump posted the upcoming movie poster on Truth Social of a bearded Trump…

The Babylon Bee – We Don’t Talk About China (Song Parody)

Satire

SWAN DIVE – Lakeland is going British!

Satire Lakeland celebrated 65 years since Queen Elizabeth II gifted the city with swans, but this…

SWAN DIVE – City of Lakeland to vote on ELECTRIC CARS only

Satire Residents in a Lakeland neighborhood want car noise ordinance enforced. https://www.fox13news.com/news/residents-in-lakeland-neighborhood-want-car-noise-ordinance-enforced Since this story appeared…

Babylon Bee – Gov Ron DeSantis just signed these 12 BASED EO’s

Satire Look out, Florida! Gov Ron DeSantis just signed some super-based executive orders to own the…

SWAN DIVE – All Lakeland Employees will be APPRECIATED…every day!

Satire Employees feel that they are not appreciated anymore, so the City of Lakeland has fixed…

SWAN DIVE-Publix removes Russian vodka from shelves….what’s next?

Fox 13 News broke the story!  https://www.fox13news.com/news/publix-to-remove-russian-vodka-from-shelves What’s next???? Publix whistleblowers are coming forward and have…

SWAN DIVE – UNREAL ESTATE PROJECT IN LAKELAND

The Lakeland DMV has scheduled 350,000 people for Florida Drivers Licenses this year with the majority…

Babylon Bee – Mattel Unveils New Pregnant Ken Doll

Satire This morning, Mattel announced the launch of a new Barbie-themed toy: a pregnant Ken doll.…

Mayfaire Artist Frets Over Proximity to Pan Flute Player

Satire by Swan City News / Facebook Mixed media artist and avid thesaurus reader Todd Cheyney was beyond…

SWAN DIVE – Former Presidents & Former First Lady HRC sign up for the Bob Ross Experience

Satire With more than 1500 Bob Ross Teachers holding local workshops every day, you can paint…

LPD Charges New LDDA Downtown Security Guard with Loitering and Trespassing

Satire by Swan City News During his first evening patrolling a peaceful downtown, private armed security…

Source Of SCOTUS Leak Found To Be Swedish Supreme Court Janitor Hildur Clintonheim

Satire In an announcement leaked to the press, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts stated the…

SWAN DIVE – City of Lakeland to replace all intersections with roundabouts

Satire Lakeland Florida is going to be the 1st city in America to replace every traffic…

SWAN DIVE-Disney is opening a NEW theme park!

SATIRE Welcome to DISNEY ISLAND located at Little St. James in the Bahamas!  Disney Cruise lines…

SWAN DIVE – Contestants from Lakeland may be featured in a new game show on Netflix

SATIRE Are you ready to see Lakeland contestants compete in a game show where they can…

SWAN DIVE – Social Media is PRIVATE thanks to Elon Musk

Satire Millenniums, GenZ, and GenAlpha are stoked that ALL SOCIAL MEDIA IS PRIVATE thanks to Elon…

SWAN DIVE – Disney’s NEW Pinocchio coming soon!

Satire Young Pinocchio (starring Jen Psaki) runs away from his genius creator (played by Joe Biden)…

SWAN DIVE – Lakeland to replace all golf courses with Section 8 houses

Satire Goodbye retirement golfing communities and Goodbye golfers! Lakeland is tired of retired folks coming and…

10 Changes DeSantis Has Ordered For Disney World

Satire Florida legislature has revoked Disney’s self-governing status which means that some bold new changes are…

SWAN DIVE-Welcome to the Wonderful World of…

Disney Hell Satire Disney is now opening a new section of the park that has remained…

SWAN DIVE- Welcome 2022 Disney Princesses!

Warning Satire Disney Launching Task Force to Make More LGBTQ+ Content for Children and Families, and…

Pigeon That Pooped On Biden To Speak At CPAC

The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) has announced its star-studded lineup of speakers at the upcoming…

Pigeon Poops On Biden After Mistaking Him For An Old Statue

A local pigeon made a terrible mistake by pooping on the President of the United States…

Rat Colony Beneath D.C. Disgusted To Find City Infested With Politicians

A rat colony underneath Washington, D.C. recently became aware of a surface world with blue skies,…

DeSantis Signs ‘Don’t Say My Momma So Fat’ Bill, Forcing Democrats To Constantly Say ‘My Momma So Fat’

Looking more presidential every day, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis recently signed into law a brilliant piece…

Corrupting Our Youth: Popular Disney Mascots Roaming Park without Any Pants

Beloved Disney characters Donald and Daisy Duck were spotted in public without any pants and, according…

Under Florida Law Bengay Forced To Rebrand As Benstraight

Satire The popular topical pain-relieving cream Bengay is undergoing a name change in order to stay…