Satire
Lakeland Florida is going to be the 1st city in America to replace every traffic light intersection with roundabouts.
The 1st roundabout in Lakeland will be at the intersection of Drane Field Road and Don Emerson Drive.
This idea has been discussed by Lakeland EMT’s stating that ‘thousands of people have lost their lives by someone driving through a red light’.
The statistics show that more than two people are killed every day in the United States by impatient and reckless red-light runners.
https://media.acg.aaa.com/florida-red-light-running-deaths-hit-10-year-high.htm
A trial roundabout study was completed, in January 2022, located at Route 33/Commonwealth Avenue and Dean Still Road in Polk City.
The red light intersection was replaced in 2016 with a roundabout with palm trees in the center. There hasn’t been a fatal accident in 6 years at that intersection. There have been occasional drivers forgetting that it’s not a straight path and have found themselves in the palm trees.
FATALITIES STILL HAPPEN DUE TO EXCESSIVE SPEED AND PASSING ON ROUTE 33. THERE IS A NEED FOR TRAFFIC POLICE. THIS IS A FACTUAL STATEMENT!
The study did prove that drivers have no idea how to drive through a roundabout. Drivers do not know the concept of merging nor do they know how to use a turn signal to indicate their exit from the roundabout. Some drivers came to a complete stop when no one was entering the roundabout and there have been fender benders.
The Lakeland Driver License Department will now implement driving through the roundabout for the examination. ‘Drivers need to be educated on roundabout safety’ said a Driver’s Education Teacher on Monday.
‘Lakeland doesn’t have to worry about sitting at red lights, or fear of someone driving through a red light or getting a ticket via camera’, said a Lakeland Police Officer.
The entire length of US HWY 98 will be roundabout after roundabout after roundabout. Driving will become fun again! Kinda like driving on a go-cart track to and from work, school, or shopping!
The completion of the roundabout project is scheduled to be finished by 2024. The project is going to be funded by Lakeland’s local liquor stores and Florida Anger Management Class.
https://courseforanger.com/states/FL
The city is looking for ideas for the centerpieces for each roundabout. The council is asking for your ideas to be put into the comment section for consideration.