One local man’s drive-thru experience left more than just donuts exposed after he allegedly rolled up to Dunkin’—with no pants on.
According to police, on March 19th, the suspect, identified as 60-something-year-old Paul Ring, pulled into the drive-thru of an Auburndale Dunkin’ Donuts in his 1996 red Ford F-150. As he handed over his payment, the drive-thru worker made an unfortunate discovery: Ring’s “glazed stick” was already on full display—no pants, no shame, and certainly no decency.
The stunned employee quickly completed the transaction (because of professionalism, obviously) before Ring drove off in an unknown direction. Management wasted no time calling law enforcement because this was not the kind of “extra cream” they signed up for.
Thanks to a sharp-eyed employee who jotted down the truck’s tag, authorities quickly tracked down Ring and confirmed his identity through a photo lineup. It turns out, this wasn’t his first time frequenting the establishment—though we can assume his past visits were slightly less memorable.
On March 25th, at approximately 1:23 AM, Ring was arrested and charged with Exposure of Sexual Organs. Shockingly, his record showed no prior indecent exposure charges—suggesting this might have been his first time going “full Monty” at the drive-thru.
What is the moral of the story? When Dunkin’ says “America Runs on Dunkin’,” they do not mean pants-optional.
I bet that glazed stick couldn’t even hold one donut. Gross, old man and gross old man.