Well folks, just when you thought Florida couldn’t Florida any harder, Osceola County said, “Hold my mugshot.”
That’s right — former Sheriff Marcos Lopez, the man who once proudly slapped the word “Charlatan”on every suspect like it was a BOGO sticker at Publix, now finds himself literally the face of a burger special.
Welcome to Canoe Creek Sports Tavern — where justice is served with fries and a side of irony. Because nothing says public disgrace like becoming a value meal.
Lopez, now facing two felony racketeering charges, has been suspended from his sheriffly duties — presumably to give him more time to taste-test the “Charlatan Burger” named in his, uh, honor.
General Manager Stephanie Chmielewski made it clear: she never had a taste for him… but the public sure had a taste for that burger. They sold out of buns, people. BUNS.
Do you know how much America has to hate you to run out of burger buns in your name?
Stephanie even made a full-on WANTED poster — like we’re in a spaghetti western starring a corrupt sheriff and a public with a wicked sense of humor. It had his mugshot, the word “Charlatan,” and probably should’ve come with a coupon for free onion rings with every betrayal of public trust.
And let’s not forget Douglas Cox, former law enforcement officer, beer enthusiast, and regretful voter. He said, “I thought Lopez was the right man for the job at the time.”
You and about 70% of Florida’s voting population, Doug — it happens. We all make mistakes. Some people buy timeshares, others elect sheriffs who turn out to be the final boss in a Florida Man video game.
Meanwhile, the new interim sheriff? Out of office… for a week. Because hey, when your predecessor gets arrested and the department’s bio pages start throwing out 404 errors faster than you can say “internal affairs,” you definitely need a vacation.
So if you’re in St. Cloud and feeling hungry — for justice and cholesterol — swing by Canoe Creek Sports Tavern. Order a Charlatan Burger. It’s the only crime Lopez has committed that actually comes with pickles.