SWAN DIVE – Swan City Satire – “SOUTH FLORIDA ROAD DIET RESOLUTION”

No worries Lakeland! The South Florida Avenue congestion will be no more! 

https://lakelandgazette.info/news/2022/03/03/south-florida-ave-road-diet-failure-any-other-options/

The mayor and city commissioners will be addressing the issue and will be doing something incredible! 

There will be no trial or census taken, because time is of the essence.  Money is never an issue either. There are unlimited funds and the taxpayers are happy to help! 

Beginning at West Pine Street the road will be one large sidewalk and will continue up to Ariana Street.  

This sidewalk area will be for walking, bike riding, skate boarding.  This is great news for those who have lost their driving privileges due to unlawful activities.  Also, this gives more opportunities for the homeless to camp out from dusk until dawn. 

Lakeland is a friendly place, so the city will have the home feel with park benches and people.  All stores will remain open with all of the foot traffic. Outdoor dining can happen morning, noon and night. 

Cars will be re-routed down West Pine Street to Kathleen Road/Harden Blvd and then back to South Florida Avenue via Ariana Street. 

Downtown Lakeland will be the walkable town just like the mayor wanted, and this takes care of the two lane congestion! 

See also  Did You Know?

Another WIN-WIN for Lakeland! 

Cannot wait to hear about the bridge being built over Lake Hunter so the neighborhood across Harden Blvd. can join the sidewalk downtown! 

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