Satire
Residents in a Lakeland neighborhood want car noise ordinance enforced.
https://www.fox13news.com/news/residents-in-lakeland-neighborhood-want-car-noise-ordinance-enforced
Since this story appeared on Fox 13 News, it has ruffled some Swan feathers to say the least!
The Citizens of Lakeland are tired of the noisy mufflers on the tricked out cars. The noise carried over to City Hall where a suggestion was made to ban all cars that are not electric. Electric cars have virtually no noise!
‘That is the solution to the problem’ said a City Hall employee who wants to remain anonymous. Their identity will remain unknown because they make a 6-digit income, and buying an electric car or 3 is nothing to them.
After the vote is passed in a secret meeting, the road diet will include installing electric meters to plug in the cars. The vote needs to pass before the July 11, 2022 meeting with the public.
Lakeland is going green permanently!
So, stop whining about high gas prices and buy a Tesla. They only cost $63k to $169k. Lakeland works hard, so everyone can afford it! Those who cannot afford it will ride a bicycle. Lakeland will be healthy too!
https://www.compare.com/electric-cars/guides/tesla-battery-replacement-cost
NON-DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: If you damage your Tesla battery due to irresponsible driving or some other fault of your own, expect a hefty repair bill. Some non-warranty repairs have been reported to cost upwards of $13,000.
The true cost of a non-warranty Tesla battery repair appears to be much more than Musk’s estimate on social media. In 2021, a driver in Finland revealed he was quoted approximately $21,000 to replace the battery in his Tesla Model S. The same year, Electrek reported that a driver in the United States was quoted $22,500 for a battery replacement.
Don’t worry, you live in Florida! How far do you need to drive for a vacation?! Vacation local. Stay local since electric cars cannot do long trips. Don’t worry about the cost of the car or any battery replacements. You live in Florida! Florida is a happy place where everyone wants to live!
It’s a win-win for everyone!
Noise is gone forever! Everyone in Lakeland is happy! Hearing is restored and sleep is peaceful again! Those riding bikes will have longer and healthier lives! You may not have money after your Tesla purchase, but you bought it so it won’t hurt your neighbors and made them feel better!
We’re in this together!
???? Nailed it! ❤️ Swan Dive!