When I read some of the comments in response to the articles from the Lakeland Gazette, I think how great it is that we have people in this community who have been and can identify the blood, sweat, and tears that not only maybe themselves personally have poured into the vision of hope house but of others.
Possibly people you may personally know, met alongside serving on one of the many numerous serve days, or just have noticed and seen through some other form of media. That is the “vision” you are standing up for, and I get it.
I am proud because that is everything Hope House was envisioned to be, and that deserves to be stood up for!! That deserves putting on your best armor and going to battle because there is no way we can let such a beautiful thing get attacked that is meant to do such amazing things.
It was promised that it would be a place to give first time pregnant mothers the opportunity and support to give their babies a chance at a better life. It was everything that the countless donors, volunteers, interns, and employees strived for it to be, so YES I can understand a zillion percent why this harsh reporting would get under your skin and elicit feelings of anger, outrage and frustration.
The concern is not on what the mission of Hope House is, because you all are right- It is BEAUTIFUL and that is worth standing up for that is worth the fight! The concern is that people from the outside cannot see past what they experienced through their own time on serve days or collecting donations for the mothers and babies of the home. So I completely understand the response of protect and attack when you see a local reporter label this sacred house as “The House of Horrors!” You are right that is very off setting because it screams uncomfortable and too bizarre to believe!! …and how do you attack such a heavenly place?? with a beautiful vision ?? and that has probably in one way or another touched a part of your heart for only reasons you would know??? that was built to serve vulnerable women and their first time babies? I honestly get it… however when you and many others who have that same passion and fight for hope house and what it is supposed to stand for, have tried a zillion times to make what is transpiring in this home come to light, with the only hope that what the house was promised to be can by the grace of GOD find its way back there… WHY NOT??
This type of attempt at reporting the concerns was not the first approach, it’s the zillionth approach, followed by a zillion sweeps of the problem under the rug. MAYBE stop and think for a moment and WONDER why would the remaining people in this organization put people in a position to go this EXTREME, instead of just welcoming the opportunity to sit together around a table and have a genuine discussion so this HOUSE can provide ALL it was meant to, to its fullest extent!!!
Our community is in NEED, this resource is scarce, and needs to WORK!! Our communities vulnerable first time pregnant mothers and their babies need this resource so badly, to have one more fighting chance to break the toxic cycle that maybe they once grew up in. So when you reach desperation, defeat, and countless hours of prayer on your knees and tears…
Can I please ask you to think what genuinely is the appropriate way to bring to light the concerns to the community and satisfy the ones who still remain, that are doing everything in their power to turn their own heads, falsely discredit, push under the rug with their famous phase “your concerns have been vetted by the board, and after speaking with many employees, volunteers, and mothers, has been unfounded,” to continue to keep from the community and donors what is truthfully happening in the home?
How can you validate concerns when the ones who were brave enough to speak up are being kicked out, blocked and attacked, including 2 of the mothers?? You want to base the validity of the concerns through the ones who are not strong enough to stand on their own two feet and find it much easier to just stay, play the game, and turn their head with them too? You would think numerous times going directly to the concern itself, trying to meet that person with guiding and supportive hands and possibly the chair of the board would be enough – and for some it was – it was ABSOLUTELY enough, because do you know how exhausting it is to keep trying to advocate and speak up for the vulnerable, when you are met with being lied on, threatened, your character attacked, and then pushed out. Exhausting enough that most did what they hoped we would do: give up, walk away and stop trying to tell the truth because they just couldn’t take it anymore.
The things I have personally witnessed happen to one of the most caring and dedicated individuals inside that home, Debbie Kelly, will make your stomach turn. When you speak HOPE HOUSE most only know her face as the face of that home, because once you interact with her you can’t overlook or forget her genuine spirit, non-judgmental caring heart, her countless hours serving, or her loving demeanor that makes you feel like you are right at home. . That is the person most of you are defending and that is the very same person who as we all continue to live our everyday lives has been suffering every single day on how things have gotten this way.
She was disposed of and treated like a piece of disposable trash because she saw with her own eyes also what was happening and tried to speak up. That person you are envisioning is NO LONGER the blood, sweat, tears or foundation of HOPE HOUSE. DEBBIE KELLY is NO longer there! She has been thrown in a hole, and it seems like every day the same person who is causing the most damage can’t stop shoveling dirt on top of her with the continued hope to keep burying her until she disappears.
How does an agency not report the wages of one of its most dedicated individuals to the department of revenue? How do they look her in the face countless times and with no remorse slam her down each time harder?
When she speaks up- they try to bully her until she can’t take it anymore and for her own sanity, makes the painful decision to choose to walk away in PEACE.
PLEASE I beg of you to think about this- How does one of the most dedicated individuals who was going to be provided with a FREE place to live, plus pay, choose to rather walk away knowing that road may be harder than choosing to stay?
PLEASE ask yourself WHY you are not choosing to help be her ladder and build her back up, as she would not hesitate to do that for you, based on the character you know of her versus continuing to add fuel to the devils fire??
And if they couldn’t just let that be, they had to take it one step higher and slam her down again, let’s fire her on the spot, claiming absurd accusations that only benefit one person, sending her a letter immediately firing her with the demand of signing it trying to bully her to claiming that the one thing she gave more blood, sweat, effort and tears over than probably all of us combined, she was now maliciously trying to sabotage, ruin and destroy ???? To later find out the whole point of that tactic was to use it as a weapon to deny her unemployment benefits, she is rightfully deserving of it because they FIRED her. To this day that one person is still standing on the throne, continuing to shovel dirt on this woman, who is more than halfway buried in her hole, who can barely breath because it’s getting heavy and who can barely see because her eyes are so swollen from her tears of pain and suffering. And even though it’s much easier to give up and turn away, the woman in the hole carrying all the emotions and hurt she has, keeps trying to remove the dirt because to her this house meant more than a job, it was the chance to give an opportunity to a vulnerable single mother, just as she once was, that she never had.
This woman is a woman of GOD and even though she has been pinned down by the enemy and rocks wailed at her with no remorse, she still falls to her knees countless times a day crying out for GOD to protect this Hope House and to continue to push forward with focusing on the purpose and being the strength to the mothers who were kicked out of this home.
I have witnessed her spend countless hours focusing on the wellbeing of those two girls, giving rides, rallying volunteers, collecting donations. The same lady you are defending from Hope House, even though discarded, is still more focused on these two mother’s wants and needs versus her own.
I have seen her struggle to provide for them, allowing them to not go without, instead herself. SO maybe you don’t know me and that raises questions in your mind about the validity of what I am saying, that is fine… BUT you do KNOW her! You can’t say you have been involved with Hope House without not knowing and witnessing DEBBIE KELLY!
And …alongside her there are still some of us. That even though we are just as exhausted and have absolutely no gain to keep advocating and fighting, we are leaning on one another to just keep going, keep speaking your experiences and TRUTH!
Even if it’s one word a day and that word is only to GOD- don’t lose your focus that those women are worth it and at the end of the day, our voice is all they have. If you have ever dealt with non-profit organizations the board of directors are available for the public to see, usually on the organizations website.
So what do you do when you have tried going down two chains of the command and are not welcomed with someone who has the willingness to listen for the best interest of these pregnant moms??
You become fearful and desperate to reach out to whoever you can find that will hopefully listen, you spend hours trying to figure out who these board members are and how to contact them. You are desperate and do absolutely anything you can think of to just cross ONE person who has the same passion as you do for what this house was promised to be and instead of taking the easier route of turning their head the other way, they are willing to put forth the same effort as you and fight to get this house back to what it was envisioned to be.
I can still remember the Sunday morning, at Church for the One, when I heard Jill’s testimony, vision, and passion for creating what we would become to know and love as HOPE HOUSE. I will never forget how I personally felt the radiance of GOD beaming off of her, and how I heard him tell me “SERVE!” And even though I battled with God questioning how he could ask me to take on one more thing?? I listened, and I made a way to obey. I say all this to say that for anyone who has ever tried to speak up against the “easier option” because maybe for you, it just doesn’t sit right and you can’t keep going without looking back knowing you didn’t do what you should have done- such as giving the vulnerable woman, that has never felt worthy of a voice, possibly due to growing up in an environment of abuse and neglect, experiencing more trauma and heart ache than most of us combined could share, that they too are just as worthy as what you, I, or any other human being is worthy of- to be heard.
And I am 100 percent positive that my comment will get attacked, laughed at, and denying responses from some of the few employees, board members, friends of or the ones who are going to have a hard time trusting a total stranger, on their validity at another attempt to make the community aware of what is really happening in that home. And honestly that is OK, the attacks are worth it, the rocks thrown hurt and the dirt piled on has become heavy, but if one person hears us and demands accountability and change, then all of this was worth it.
The facts and proof are there, they have been shared and expressed by many on the inside to the ones who were appointed to serve on a board of directors to include, Lakeland Mayor Bill Mutz, The Lakelander Editor RJ Walters, Realtor Yolonda Floyd, Attorney Hannah George, Assistant VP LRMC Women and Children Laurie Shea, and Grace City Lyndsy Flanagan, with the expectations to hold accountable any and all individuals that join the forces of Hope House to preserve and protect its mission and integrity.
Why does it not ring red flags when the prior ones who, even though are exhausted, still continue to speak, with trust in GOD that he will not fail and will make a way, are now being served letters from an attorney demanding to sue us if we do not shut up? Why have more than half of the volunteers who came forward and served countless hours of their time for FREE to also pour into this great mission volunteering in professional medical roles, such as nurses, doulas, lactation consultants and clinical social workers, have also made the difficult decision to step away after the house was up and running due to it becoming obvious that the devil is dancing on the inside.
It’s obvious, it’s more hard work to try and be receptive, to gather around a table for collaborating and work together to fix what has gone wrong..it’s easier to hide it, and claim all of this is lies, and we are the jealous ones and we want to ruin Hope House.
I challenge the ones who are battling with the validity of what is being claimed to ask yourself this, If so many people are so called “taking the wrong channels to voice their concerns or going against the hope house handbook” WHY not call a meeting that actually involves anyone, both past and present, who has ever served or been involved, whether it’s through volunteering, donating, employment, or just from the community and invite them to speak in a room with intent to listen to what they have to say?
WHY is it that in any other agency serving any other population the executive director and employees in the home would be held to some sort of educational standards and experience to fill these roles to ensure the population and organization is given the opportunity to thrive and effectively serve the population it’s set out to serve.
However, in this case, for whatever reason, the women in HOPE house don’t deserve that level of experience and professionalism from their staff in one of the most stressful and vulnerable times in their lives?
A good heart is great but a good heart doesn’t mean experience or qualified. I’m pretty sure in one of these comments I actually saw someone justify why this was acceptable.. “because it’s a charity trying to do well” WHY do we think the word charity and trying to do well is an excuse to allow uneducated and inexperienced staff??
People served by charities deserve just as qualified if not more than qualified leadership and staff serving them, just as we would expect in any other agency or business whose purpose is to serve or provide for us!
From the bottom of my heart, from someone who solely only volunteered their time, who has absolutely NO benefit whatsoever from this house, has absolutely no benefit from spending countless hours trying to advocate for what is right, with only the hope to bring this house back to what it was envisioned to be.
I am begging you to please give these women the same passion and support that you are giving defending what you have been so passionate about giving to them through Hope House and turn that passion into the effort to see what is going on and demand it be fixed!
To the people who want to claim whatever it is they want to say about me, I can take it, I did not dedicate my life to being a social worker because I wanted life to be easy or make friends with YES people. I dedicated my life to this career because it’s my own personal passion and growing up in my own personal trauma.
I know what it feels like to be that vulnerable individual praying hard one day GOD finds that person who will be your voice. So if that’s what it will take to find just 1 or 2 individuals that are willing to do what’s the hardest and that is to genuinely listen, demand to hear the claims from the mouths of the individuals themselves, and demand change, I WILL CONTINUE to JOIN in on BEING THEIR VOICE.
To read people write how they listened to a clip of a voice recording of a mother in the home begging to have her school program paid for and automatically jumped to the thought of “entitlement”, I get it… From the outside looking in, I get how you can come up with that response. However what you are not being told was that since day one this was promised to this mother as a benefit of joining the program, to cover the cost of a trade program certificate, so she could better financially provide for herself and soon to be born, child. Then to be faced with continued excuses for MONTHS of why you haven’t done enough and try again next time. PLEASE tell me how it is not ABSOLUTELY IRONIC that when this mother is able to gain access to the board to express herself, she is told they agree to cover the program but before the end of that week she is SERVED a 7 day EVICTION notice, shortened the following day by an email giving her 24 hours to get out.
I will never forget the day before the house was set to open, I sat down at the table with Ms. Debbie and the executive director (I’m not going to say her name because somehow it will get twisted to “Ruthie doesn’t like me” “Ruthie hates me” “Ruthie is picking on me” to which NONE of that is true- since day one I have only wanted to cheer you on, support you, and help you grow this house into one of the most successful programs because in my time as a social worker I have seen many of these homes open and FAIL!!! And honestly that SUCKS because resources are scarce and GOD we can’t afford to have another one fail. However, the day I realized you bend the truth to benefit yourself, I did set the boundary I would not sit at a table alone with you because you lost my trust there). At the table during that conversation the executive director spoke of her boundaries as to what she would and would not allow into the house. She said, nobody with a criminal background, prior drug use or current addiction, to which I looked at her with a response from my professional experience working over 20 years in the field of human services, through the department of children and families, foster home licensing, the prison, and addictions, that this was exactly the population this resource was built to serve. The photos you see on Instagram and Facebook for the media, is NOT who these mothers are. That is a facade!!
There have been so many applications to this home of mothers who should have been accepted but were not, this is one of the primary reasons why staff with education and experience is necessary. We are talking about a population that can be challenging to serve and without the proper education and training, it can become dangerous, not only for the people inside the home but the community outside of it.
After some time of the home remaining empty and a GALA on the way, the executive director began to accept these mothers, which is GREAT! BUT you cannot expect to understand and positively impact these women if you don’t have the understanding, education, experience and training to do so or even the desire to try and be receptive and be guided, whether through another professional or agency.
As BOTH of these resources have been offered to be provided but DECLINED by the executive director. And That right there is where you get someone who begins to wrongly label women who have experienced years of trauma, grew up and aged out of foster care, only trust themselves because time and time again they have been taught they can only trust and look out for themselves, guarded, are vulnerable, will lie, and will test you as “NON-COMPLIANT” , “ENTITLED ” “DANGEROUS” “UNAPPRECIATIVE” “UNGRATEFUL” and “AGGRESSIVE”! NOBODY is claiming ill will against the executive director who may be your friend, church member, or family member- I am glad she is your person and hope she continues to be!
We are asking for you to see what the executive director herself and board of directors are failing to understand, which in return is spiraling into this tunnel of hatred and hurt. I want to believe that what I have witnessed done poorly or unprofessionally to others is not a character trait but a flawed defense mechanism when responding by spiraling in hatred.
Please be mindful that just because you show up with the best intentions does not mean you are fit for the role. Just because we are speaking up does not mean we want HOPE HOUSE to close, we are asking you to PLEASE step back and see- I can promise you these women are NONE of those things, they are trying to survive with the only coping mechanisms they know how to and it was supposed to be our task to help guide them into healthier ones. I encourage you to DEMAND the board hold an open meeting where everyone is WELCOME to speak both past and present, and everyone in the community is welcome to hear and join because there are still a handful of us, although we are sinking and getting weak, we are still fighting to stay a float to prove to these women they are worth fighting for.
Please I beg of you to demand the people who keep trying to shut down what is being said or claim it’s not true, that it’s being addressed, or has been addressed, or is unfounded that you as a community demand that they allow the open meeting welcoming EVERYONE!
Please I beg of you that when they say they have “licensed staff” employed in the house addressing the concerns- ASK for the PROOF!! Licensing information is PUBLIC RECORD on the department of FL website!!
Maternity homes are NOT sanctioned by the department of children and families or any other Florida board. Nobody but the community and the board can hold them accountable. So many claims of things being addressed are being made with ABSOLUTELY no PROOF because it is NOT being addressed but swept under the rug with hopes that the person who is currently standing on the throne can continue to manipulate and lie to benefit themselves, to keep collecting the financial gain, and the social status.
WHY are we doubting the people who have ABSOLUTELY nothing or ever had anything to gain from this house and not the person who does???
PLEASE ask yourself, WHY do these women not deserve you to be just as quick and passionate about putting on your armor to defend them as you can do so easily for the name of HOPE HOUSE? It’s because of these women that HOPE HOUSE exists.
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:31
Ruthie Kimmons
Licensed Clinical Social Worker